


Things Robert Saw

by elsiecarson



Category: Everybody Loves Raymond
Genre: Caught, Couch Sex, F/M, From Sex to Love, Making Out, Old Married Couple, Post-Coital Cuddling, Sex, Sex Talk, Siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:14:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26760040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elsiecarson/pseuds/elsiecarson
Relationships: Frank Barone/Marie Barone





	1. Chapter 1

Robert sighs as he pulls into the driveway. It’s been a long day of police work. He stretches as he gets out of his car. He slowly walks towards the house. When he opens the front door he sees his mother straddling his father’s legs. “Ma! What the hell is going on here?”

“Why are you so surprised, Robby?” Marie asks as she stands up. “Your father and I are married after all.”

“Yeah, but you bicker all the time. You hate each other, so the fact that you were in such an intimate embrace surprises me.” Robert says rubbing his eyes.

“Bickering is the mainstay of an Italian marriage, Robert. Bickering and arguing brings a couple closer together. You underestimate the connection between your mother and I.” Frank says as he stands up and puts his hands on Marie’s shoulders. “Your mother and I are closer than anyone thinks. We just know each other too well sometimes.”

“So, I suppose after everything I’ve seen tonight, I can assume that you’re still intimate with each other.” Robert says glumly. This disturbs him greatly, especially since he’s not intimate with anyone.

“Why do people always assume that after people hit 50 sex becomes extinct? Your mother and I are having better sex now than we did when you and your brother were living at home.” Frank says firmly.

“I didn’t need to know any of that!” Robert cries indignantly. “That was far too much information about your sex life! I’m going over to see Ray and Debra.” Robert slams the front door as he leaves. “Ray! Can we talk?”

“Robert, what is it?” Ray asks as Robert bursts in the back door.

“When I walked into the house tonight Ma was sitting on, straddling Dad’s lap. Dad got talking about how great their sex life is. It was far more information than I ever wanted to know about our parents.” Robert says shaking his head like an Etch-a-Sketch to get rid of the memory.

“Why did you have to tell me? I never wanted to ever imagine my parents as sexual beings. That image will never leave my brain.”Ray exclaims. He’s shocked at his parents’ behaviour.

“I had to tell someone so I didn’t have that image burned so vividly into my brain.” Robert says as he slumps onto the sofa.


	2. Chapter 2

Back with Frank and Marie, Marie has her face buried in Frank’s chest and is giggling loudly. “That was fun. Robby was naive to think we’re not still close to each other.” Marie says as she wraps her arms around Frank’s waist.

“It was funny. Robert needs to grow up. Life doesn’t end at any age, but our sons certainly think it does. Let’s just enjoy tonight since Robert’s not coming home. We can have sex anywhere we want in the house.” Frank says as he leans down and kisses Marie.

“Oh Frank! Is that all you ever think about? Where do you suggest? I don’t know if I like this idea.” Marie says hesitantly.

“Right here on the sofa.” Frank says trying to be seductive. He slips his arms around Marie’s waist and sits the two of them down on the sofa.

“Frank, in case you’ve forgotten, our couch is covered in plastic. We’d get stuck to it if we do what you’re suggesting. Besides, things like that are meant to be done in the bedroom.” Marie says firmly. She’s trying to be practical, after all someone has to be.

“But that’s not fun. We have the entire house to ourselves and you want to do the same things we always do. Be adventurous, Marie. We could have sex on the sofa; it will make all the sensations stronger.” Frank says as he reaches over and pushes Marie’s blouse off her shoulders.

“Oh, Frank, you’re nothing but a dirty old man! All you want from me is sex and food! I am not having sex with you on the sofa. I am willing to have sex with you anywhere else, but not on the sticky plastic of our sofa!” Marie says firmly.

“What about downstairs in the basement on the sofa there?” Frank suggests.

“Why is it such a big deal to have sex in our bedroom? Why don’t you want to be together in our bed? What’s going on Frank?” Marie asks as she touches Frank’s face.

“You just put fresh sheets on the bed and I’d like a change of pace every once in a while.” Frank says trying to be honest.

“Oh Frank, you don’t care if the sheets are fresh and clean. You’d never notice except that I tell you when the sheets are clean so you don’t get into our clean bed dirty. But if you want to have sex in the basement, we can do that.” Marie says finally giving in.

“Great, let’s go!” Frank says enthusiastically as he grasps Marie’s hand and drags her down to the basement. He’s only ever enthusiastic about two things with Marie: sex and food, at least that’s all he admits to.

Marie leaves her blouse heaped on the couch as she follows Frank down to the basement. She slumps onto the basement couch and slips her shoes off. Frank sits next to Marie and puts his arms around her. He leans down and kisses her gently. He’s just getting warmed up. Marie slips her feet under her. She leans towards Frank and then Frank puts his arms back around her and then leans back and pulls Marie on top of himself. Her hands land on each side of Frank’s head when she’s pulled on top of him. Frank looks up into Marie’s sparkling, seductive, blue eyes. Marie presses her lips down upon Frank’s and gently touches the side of his face. She’s much more seductive and beautiful than she knows or Frank will ever admit. Frank reaches down and slips Marie’s black shirt up over her head. Marie reaches down with trembling, red painted fingernails and unbuttons Frank’s shirt. Even after 47 years of marriage he can still make her heart soar and flutter just like it did the very first time. Frank quickly shrugs out of his shirt and then pulls his undershirt over his head. Marie presses her hips firmly down upon Frank’s groin. Frank reaches up with tender fingers to trace Marie’s face and gently pulls her face down to kiss her again. Marie reaches around her back and slips her black lace bra off and tosses it off to the side. Frank feels his face flush crimson as Marie reveals herself to him. She still has the ability to make his heart race. Frank kicks his shoes off and then rolls over and puts Marie on the bottom. Frank kisses her on the neck and then pushes himself up on his knees and slides back slightly to be able to get at the top of Marie’s pants. He kisses her stomach and then slowly unbuttons her pants. He lifts her hips and she holds her hips up so Frank can slip her pants and underwear off. Marie drops her hips back onto the sofa. Frank leans forward and whispers in Marie’s ear, “You’re beautiful.” He stands up and unbuckles his belt and takes off his pants and his boxers. He watches the flush creep up Marie’s face. Frank strokes his hands gently down Marie’s breasts as he kisses her gently. He’s only this tender when he makes love. Marie clasps her hands behind Frank’s neck and kisses him softly. She scratches her nails along his neck and down his chest. Frank has a visceral reaction to Marie’s actions. She knows exactly how to interest him in her. Frank moves his hips forward and enters Marie with thrust. Marie clutches at Frank’s back with her painted fingernails as he moves within her. Frank kisses her neck as he continues to move. Marie links her ankles behind Frank’s knees to pull him deeper within her. Frank runs his fingers through Marie’s blonde curls. Marie closes her eyes as she and Frank finish together. They’ve been able to do that since their honeymoon. Frank rolls off and lies on the couch breathing deeply. Marie rolls onto her side and snuggles into Frank’s side. He will only cuddle before or after they’ve had sex. Marie places her short-fingered hand on Frank’s chest. Frank pulls the blanket from the back of the sofa over the two of them. “You were amazing.” Frank whispers as he relaxes.

“So were you,” Marie says as she cuddles closer to Frank. “Normally I wouldn’t complain about cuddling Frank, but this couch is a little narrow. I feel like I’m going to fall off. Can we go and cuddle upstairs in our bed?”

“Sure Marie, if you want,” Frank says as he urges Marie to stand up with one hand. He wraps the blanket back around the two of them. They slowly climb the stairs up from the basement. “Are you happy, cara mia?” Frank asks as they get to the top of the stairs.

“I’m happy now, chi chi. Why do you ask?” Marie asks with confusion in her voice. “I’m usually happy. I just don’t show it that often.”

“I just wanted to know. I know that you find me very frustrating and annoying so I just like to check in with you every once in a while.” Frank says as he lays down on the bed and Marie lays down next to him. Frank wraps his arm around her waist.


	3. Chapter 3

Marie’s eyes get heavy and she turns her face into Frank’s chest and starts to fall asleep. Frank rests his head on top of Marie’s. He yawns loudly and begins to fall asleep.

Frank wakes up an hour later and is famished. For once in his life Frank doesn’t wake Marie up to make something for him. He watches her sleep and is so happy that she is peaceful. She didn’t even stay up and put all the gloop on her face she normally does. Marie shifts in her sleep and Frank sees the top of Marie’s bare shoulder. He kisses her shoulder and she rolls towards the kiss. Marie’s eyes slowly open as Frank kisses her shoulder again. “Hey Marie,” Frank says gently as he kisses her forehead. His stomach rumbles just at that moment.

“Frank, are you that hungry? Can I make you something? I’m famished too.” Marie asks looking up at Frank.

“I’m starving, but if you’re making food don’t make anything too heavy otherwise I’ll be up all night.” Frank requests gently.

“Of course not. Do you just want a sandwich and a pickle?” Marie asks as she hops out of bed and pulls a robe on.

“That sounds great. Can you make me a salami and cheese?” Frank asks as he stretches in bed.

“Sure, Frank, what kind of cheese do you want: cheddar, mozzarella, or Swiss?” Marie asks.

“Cheddar, of course. Can I get a ginger ale too? If it’s not too much to ask.” Frank asks cautiously.

“Course not. As long as I’m up I’ll grab you a ginger ale to go with your sandwich. Do you want white bread?” Marie asks as she walks into the kitchen and Frank follows her.

“Yeah, salami and cheese should always go on white bread. It’s just natural.” Frank says as he slumps into a kitchen chair.

Marie smiles with her back to Frank. He is so predictable. She pulls the thick cut white bread, mayo, and mustard out of the fridge along with the salami, cheddar cheese, and two bottles of ginger ale. As she’s spreading mayo thickly on the bread Frank comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist. “You’re so sexy.” Frank says kissing her neck.

“Frank, if you don’t stop you’re not going to get your sandwich. Now go get me the jar of pickles out of the fridge.” Marie says patting Frank’s hand.

When Frank comes back with the jar of pickles he pinches Marie’s bum for good measure. “I love your ass.” Frank says huskily.

“Just stay away from my ass right now, Frank. I’m too hungry to think about having sex again.” Marie says stacking salami and cheese on two sandwiches.

“Fine, next time you can initiate when we decide to have sex.” Frank says frustratedly. Everything always seems to have to be on Marie’s terms.

“I like when you initiate sex. Right now is just not the right time. We had sex not that long ago. Don’t push your luck tonight.” Marie says honestly. She pulls two pickles out of the jar and cuts them into four pieces lengthwise.


End file.
